On November 9, 2016, the author expresses feelings of isolation and confusion regarding their existence and connection to God. They grapple with their identity, feeling like a “freak” of creation while struggling to understand the nature of life, death, and their relationship with the divine. The author questions the purpose of life and the impact of truth if it leads to suffering. They reflect on the tension between being part of humanity and their perceived divinely inspired nature, ultimately seeking reassurance about their role and the "Essence of Living". The piece conveys a deep yearning for clarity and belonging.